A Little Help

Dumbledore Asks For A Little Help
By: Super-Terciel
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to either Harry Potter or Terry Tate Office Linebacker.

Time: During Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts.
Harry, Ron and Hermione stepped out of the horseless carriages. Each one wondering what event Percy Weasley mentioned over the summer. "What do you think it is?" asked Ron.
Harry shrugged his shoulders, "Don't know."
Hermione said, "I bet its something amazing."
Draco Malfoy sneered at the three from the front steps of the Hogwarts castle, his cronies Crabbe and Goyle standing behind him. "Your father didn't tell you, Weasley. How pathetic."
Harry, Ron and Hermione gave Malfoy dirty looks.
Hermione responded, "Well, Malfoy its pathetic how you always have that sneer on your face. Careful your face will freeze like that."
Malfoy's face reddened slightly at the joke, "Don't talk to me like that you dirty mudblood."
Harry and Ron reached for their wand, but someone beat them.
A large dark skinned man wearing a red football jersey with the number 56 tackled Malfoy to the ground. Number 56 stood up and pointed at Malfoy, "You can't talk to a lady like that. You're supposed to respect women, or else you're in for a long year, A LONG YEAR. Cause Triple T's all up in this BITCH!" Triple T entered the castle, moving passed a wide eyed Crab and Goyle.
Ron scratched his head, "What the bloody hell was that?"
Harry, Ron and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table next to Fred and George.
Harry pointed out, "There he is." Number 56 was sitting next to Hagrid.
Fred asked, "What's with that outfit?"
Shamus answered, "He looks like an American football player."
Ron asked, "What's American football?"
Shamus began to explain, but Dumbledore stood up and the Great Hall became silence.
Dumbledore looked around, "Welcome new students and welcome back old students. This year we welcome a new teacher, Mad Eye Moody for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Also for this year we are taking part in a little experiment, the Ministry of Magic has asked Hogwarts to find new ways to motivate students. Please welcome Office Linebacker Terrible Terry Tate." The students clapped politely exchanging worried looks.
Dumbledore continued, "Now Mr. Tate is here to motivate students and to keep students out of trouble (looking directly at Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George). Also, this year I am delighted to announce the Hogwarts will be holding the Tri-Wizard Tournament." A long silence followed. . .

The next day, Harry, Ron and Hermione walked toward their first class, Transfiguration. A third year student was walking behind them, eating candy from his pocket.
Hermione was talking excitedly, "I can't believe we're going to see the Tri-Wizard Tournament."
Ron said, "I only wish we could participate."
A sudden roar was heard behind them, the three turned to see the third year being slammed into the wall.
Terry Tate yelled, "You eat that candy again and I will put a smack attack on your candy snacking ass, THAT YOU WILL NEVER SNAP BACK FROM AGAIN! BITCH!"
Terry walked down the hall pass the three. Ron spoke first, "That guy really scares me."
Harry and Hermione nodded in agreement.

At lunch, Harry, Ron and Hermione were enjoying sandwiches as Fred and George sat heavily down next to them.
Ron looked questioningly at his brothers, "What's wrong with you?"
Fred answered, "Well we were nodding off in Potions, then. . ."
Earlier with Fred and George.
Fred and George heads lulled back as Snape lectured about the importance of something.
Suddenly, a blur of red and white flew at them. Terry yelled, "This ain't your home, so don't think you can sleep. WHOOO!"

The Daily Prophet Interview with Albus Dumbledore:
Dumbledore spoke, "The Ministry of Magic asked me to try and motivate the students to work harder and try to stay out of trouble. I hired Mr. Tate for the sole reason that his unique approach to motivation has worked greatly with Finch's and Son's that I thought I'd be fun to try it at Hogwarts."
Flashback: Terry jumps out of a hallway, tackling a sixth year girl, "Class started fifteen minutes ago. Bitch!"
Flashback: Crabbe and Goyle ran toward the dining hall. Terry slammed in front of them, "YOU CAN'T HURT THIS! I'M A MACHINE! I'm built for this son! WHOO! WHOOO!"
Dumbledore said, "With Mr. Tate's proven motivational skills, sixty percent of student's grades have increased."
Daily Prophet Question: "Are you afraid that he's a muggle?"
Dumbledore responded, "Mr. Tate is very resistant to the spells students have tried against him."
Flashback: The Transfiguration class room had its door open as the fourth year students listened to Professor McGonagall. Red lights were seen on the left side of the door. Suddenly a seventh year boy rushed by the room screaming, Terry Tate close behind, "You can run, but you can't hide baby!"
Interview with Terry Tate:
Terry answered a similar question, "Hey man, I'm a sensitive motherfucker. My tackling knows no race, creed or gender. SO BRING IT ON! I'm an equal opportunity hitting machine! ALL DAY! EVERYDAY! Believe that."
Back with Dumbledore:
Dumbledore folded his hands, "What really surprised me was how well Terry gets along with the students."
Flashback: Terry is standing over a terrified third year boy, "YOU KNOW THAT ESSAY WAS DUE TODAY! That ain't you baby." Hermione walks by, "Hi, Terry." Terry looks up and smiles, "Hi Hermione. How'd you do on that History of Magic Essay?" Hermione said, "P." Terry raised his hand, "High five girl." Hermione high fives Terry and walks past them. Terry points at the third year, "MOTHERFUCKER!"
Dumbledore," But Terry hasn't gone soft. He still does what he does best."
Flashback: Harry and Ron was sword fighting at the back of Transfiguration with a pair Fred and George's fake wands. Terry sails through the air, slamming into the pair. Terry starts, "YOU LIKE PLAYING GAMES! Well I've got a game for YOU! How much pain can you two stand before YOU learn not to PLAY GAMES ANYMORE! That's my game! That's Terry's game! And when it's game time, it PAIN TIME BABY! WHOOO!"
Back with Triple T:
Terry says, "I just do my job. I do what my God given good has allowed me to do and I thank Jesus Christ for it EVERY SINGLE DAY. And do I enjoy what I do. HELL YES!"
Flashback: Terry tackles Snape when he's about unfairly take points from Gryffindor.
Lastly with Dumbledore:
Dumbledore smiled, "I think that Terry Tate has taught these students many good lessons."
Flashback: A small crowd of young witches and wizard circled around number 56 to learn about pantomime. Terry is wearing his black jersey with the white lettering. His face covered with white mime makeup. Terry was pulling on an imaginary rope. Malfoy walks up and looks at Terry's performance, "What a joke. You call this the arts? I call it disgusting!" Terry opened the side of his pantomime box and jumped at Malfoy. Malfoy cowered on the ground as Terry threatened him with a finger, "YOU RESPECT THE ARTS, OR THE ART WON'T RESPECT YOU! YOUR ASS IS TRAPPED IN MY BOX NOW! TERRY'S PANOMIME BOX OF PAIN AND THEIR AIN'T NO EXCAPE FROM THAT! WHOOOO!"